How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize