there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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