I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
