Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
