Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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