I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
