Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
