that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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