While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize