weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ok first of all what the fuck
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