I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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