Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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