I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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