Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
