Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
