Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
