Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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