So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
