That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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