We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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