So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
