Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize