We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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