You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
