I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
