just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
