Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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