who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
