I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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