"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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