Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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