Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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