Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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