Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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