I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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