The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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