careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
