Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
