Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think I sprained my soul last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Drunk is not a location!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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