You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
