theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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