i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
third nipple confirmed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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