Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
