at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
