I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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