Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
