trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
