Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
