she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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