Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
