worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i think i scared a bird with my dick
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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