i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
