Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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