Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize