I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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