Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
