The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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