Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
