Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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