sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
