it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You ruined the universe
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
