I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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