He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
