Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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