You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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